Today I need to write about me.
As my Twitter followers and readers who read this post know, I have clinical depression.
I’ve been taking anti depressants for 6 months now and I have started seeing a psychologist as well. I think I’m getting better. It’s hard to know with certainty, when I was living in such a dark, lonely place for so long.
In my journey to recovery, there are obstacles. And a new one appeared last week.
I got diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis. I have RA in my hands mainly, my wrists, ankles, knees and elbows. I’m only 21.
I know this post is very ‘Whyyyyy me?’ and I’m sorry for whining. I’ve been stuck for a few days in my ‘off’ phase of depression. Where it’s hard to get out of bed, I cry for no reason and everything feels like it’s too much. All of this plus the new added stress of RA and my medication, and it’s all I can do to not go back to bed for a week.
I write posts like this to help sort my thoughts out. I also write so you guys can learn more about me. I sometimes wish this blog was more personal, but then I think ‘Who wants to read some whiny posts by a depressed girl?’ Probably no one, that’s who.
If you feel like that, I’m sorry. Here’s a link to some pretty nail polish.
I just need to acknowledge my recovery and the battle I’m fighting everyday.
Somedays I feel totally fine, and somedays I feel like I’m losing my mind. On the off days I need to just hang on and ride the rollercoaster through.
I know I’m not alone and I have people who love and care about me, but the off days make me forget, and I need to try and remember.
Depression and mental health is a serious, serious issue. If you or anyone you know needs help, please please talk to someone or check out Beyond Blue. Depression is a silent killer and everyone needs to speak up about it.
thegirlwithabow.
I’m sorry hon, I hope you feel better soon. *hugs* Write what you want. I don’t mind at all. No one is gonna hate you for it. Its your blog you can write what you want. Just remember we are all here for you if you ever need someone to talk to.
We loves you! 
Whilst I don’t have RA, I have/had depression.
I say had because despite being in a bad place for many years – seeing countless shrinks – taking a ridiculous amount of AD, I am now living my life without those aids.
I still have bad days, and my anxiety gets worse as I get older, but it IS possible to beat the worst of it.
I’m here if you ever need to vent, or cry or scream.
I know too well what it’s like to feel like you are alone in a big black hole.
Just know that you aren’t
xo
I was diagnosed with depression and an anxiety disorder 9 years ago, and have been on high doses of anti-depressants since then. Then a couple of years ago I was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis. Sometimes the universe just really sucks, and when it does don’t be scared to reach out and ask for help, and don’t feel bad if you just want to stamp your feet, clench your fists and throw a big ole tanty at how suckie life can be. Because it can. Sending lots of love and hugs your way, you know where I am if you need someone to talk to.
I know it’s hard, but believe me – you are stronger than you think. I spent most of my late teens and early twenties on antidepressants, but now I don’t take a thing. You can beat it, you just have to find ways to avoid your triggers and teach your brain to react to things differently.
Find the things that give you joy and take the time to enjoy them. Break patterns and create new experiences – repetitive behaviour tends to trigger a feeling of hopelessness. There’s a big wide world out there full of amazing things and wonderful experiences and the thing is, they are all there for you.
Your topic is right – small steps. That is the only thing that will get you through it. There will be good days, and there will be bad days but each day takes you closer to the day that you can finally realise that you are strong enough to handle this. I look forward to the day when you realise that you are beautiful, wonderful and perfect just the way you are and there’s nothing you can’t get through.
Hang in there. It’s a journey but you’ll get there. I can’t remember if I’ve shared it with you already but I’ve been treated for postnatal depression so I have an understanding of what you’re going through. Big hugs to you xoxo
*hugs* It doesn’t feel like it now, but it does get better. I’ve been on antidepressants for 5 years now, and even though I’m going through some horrible stuff with my family right now, I can honestly say this is the first time I’ve been ‘happy’ in 10 years. Take all the time you need, write whatever you want on your blog, and you can always message me if you need to talk about anything <3
Re: RA, you may want to reach out to Rae at The Notice, she just posted recently about having it. It might be nice to talk to another blogger about your mutual love of sparklies and dealing with RA.